Messed up things

Funny how things happen in life sometimes.. going back and reading a passage I wrote over a year ago and seeing where I am today is crazy.. Things have gotten so messed up! I think things need to mess up to remind us of where we came from and where we would like to be.  I could have never predicted my relationship would be where it is today.. Scattered and Distant.  Between not working, child support craziness, jail and Houston and now it's been 6 months since I've even seen him.. 2 months since a phone call..not sure when I became nothing more than a text message.  Could never have predicted we wouldn't make it. And I'm sure when he is with other women he isn't thinking of me.. To be honest I think this was a big plan he had with his cousin.. He never planned on being with me like he said. I'm so broken and hurt I don't know how to be happy. All I feel is sad and lonely... Wish I could move on as easily has he did.. I guess I love people too much and not myself enough.